Captain Red! Capt...
The hook, the hook!
- Was that you? - What?
I thought I heard... It sounded like... a pig.
Must be the heat.
Now, now, Froggy? Be reasonable. Come on down, you little baboon.
- You want to eat me. Damn it. - It's a law of nature...
by thunder! The strong always eat the weak.
Come on down lad... make an effort.
- Cannibal! - Come on, piggy-wiggy.
I'm not piggy, I'm the Frog.
Cannibalism is a mortal sin.
It will bring you bad luck!
You shall writhe in hellfire.
What about confession? What do you think confession's for?
Sail ho! Sail ho to windward!
Devil take you, Frog, have I not told you to trust me?
- Am I not proved right again. - Aye, aye, Cap'n.
Well you're not to forget it, you little rascal.
Never lose faith in divine providence... never!
Watch out, lad! The shark, a shark.
'Twas good sport, though, by thunder, 'twas indeed.
You can have me balls for breakfast if 'twasn't, what do you say?
Whatever you say, Cap'n.
Then we're both agreed.
Ah-hoy! A-hoy there!
Dang me buttons! There's a thin slice o' luck!
See her colors?
Spaniard!
Quick, quick... The documents, for heaven's sake!
Me gold!
- Miserable wretch! - God will be your ruin, Cap'n.
- It will cost us our heads. - Easier to live without a head than...
without gold, you numskull.
I fight for hatred or the Spaniard... I fight for glory, not gold!
A man fights for what he lacks the most.
Shiver me soul!
- What, Cap'n Red? - "What, Cap'n Red?
What, Cap'n Red?" Can't you see those whore-sons ain't a-changin' course?
She'll run straight past us, all sail set and the wind up her tail.
Aye, Cap'n... she's holding course.
Per-perhaps...
'tis a ghost ship?
Ghost or no ghost, we need a-rescuing', by thunder.
- Ahoy! -Ahoy there!
Ahoy on deck!
- Here, Frog! I'm stuck! - Drop the chest, Cap'n!
- Drop the chest! - Never!
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Quick, quick... Pull.
Pull, damn it...
Help! Help! Here... Me treasure! Murder!
Five-and-twenty years of unstintin' toil! All me savings!
Down to the brig with them!
Come over here, and open your lug-holes.
If they should question us remember this: henceforth, I'm Benjamin Parr...
- of London, understand? - I understand, Cap'n.
Cotton shipper for Matthew Spencer and Company, right?
Attacked at night by pirates. On board the... "The Morning Star".
Sunk with all hands. We're the sole survivors. Repeat.
Benjamin Parr of London, cotton shipper of...
Tobacco or vanilla would be better.
- And who might you be, sir? - Joseph Seraphin Amadeus Boomako.
- Boomako? - Boomako, ship's cook.
- What the devil are you doin' down here? - I'm in irons, Captain.
- And why's that, pray? - Spaniards loco...
they say Boomako poison great Captain Linares to steal throne.
- Throne? What throne? - Throne of Kapatek-Anahuac.
Kapatek-Anahuac?
- Here? - Who?
- The throne. - Ah, here.
- You've seen it? - Ah, by little hole.
- Where, for God's sake? - Here. Put your eye here and you see...
If I may make so bold, they'd look very well hanging from the yardarm.
Yet you have just informed me that they were victims of a shipwreck.
A pair of dogs, Your Honor! An Englishman and a Frenchman!
Lieutenant, I would remind you once and for all, that the war is over.
- On paper, perhaps. - When a treaty bears...
the sign manual of His Most Catholic Majesty...
personal sentiments must take second place to national obligations.
- You Honor's vinegar purge. - Another! 'Tis the fourth today.
I assure you, doctor, I have naught left inside me to be purged of.
And Spain's present obligations are clearly defined by the Treaty...
- of Pyrenees... - It will get cold, Your Honor.
which treaty expresses the will of our noble King Philip the Fou... ourth...
A treaty signed by His Excellency Cardinal Mazarin...
to the greater glory of our country and the honor of our Holy Mother...
the Church.
Tut, tut...
- we haven't eaten our oatmeal. - Quite possibly.
So we need look no further should Your Honor have no movement of the bowels.
Now then. You were shipwrecked, I am told.
We were indeed, Your Honor, sir, till divine providence saw fit - Deo gratias,
to put us in the way of this here vessel belonging to the good King...
of Spain.
I see. This shipwreck... how did it come about?
- Pirates... Devil take 'em! - Who were these pirates?
'Twere too dark to see, sir. I did hear 'em shout a name, though...
wait... I think... Ah, I heard "Cap'n Red, what shall we do with 'em?"
"Kill 'em all," says he. "There's naught but baccy and vanilla aboard this hulk."
That was our cargo on the "MorningStar", sir, tobacco and vanilla.
- You heard "Captain Red", are you sure? - Sure as I've a timber leg, sir.
- He has been dead these past four years. - Garcia Gomez put an end to him...
at Boca del Toro. This dog must have been dreaming.
What ain't no dream, Your Honor, is all I possessed...
went down in that there skirmish. Homeward bound, I was...
after 18 years a-workin' me fingers to the bone on a little vanilla plantation.
Life's always dealt me harsh. Take this cursed leg o' mine;
crushed by a barrel of vanilla at the tender age of three-and-twenty.
And the scar?
On your head... was that a barrel of vanilla too?
Not at all, sir, not at all.
That's from the irons they used to pluck me from me poor late mother's womb.
I 'hope Your Honor gaveno such trouble to his own mother.
Some respect, dog!
Away with them.
Look at it sing, the tasty little titbit!
Caramba, I could make you sing a song or two.
And you wouldn't need your guitarra, believe me!
Are you not, as I have had the pleasure of bein' told, the carpenter?
Master Carpenter.
And a fine trade it is, by the power! Many's the time I've regretted...
not learnin' it myself. Still, too late now, and there's an end on it.
I perceived your kindly features at once, master carpenter, and was a...
wonderin' whather pr'aps you might wishto devote a little of your precious...
- time to me timber leg. - What's amiss with it?
Cutt off short in its prime... I drift to starboard every step I take.
These are some precious family heirlooms what I've always refused to...
be parted from, even in times of direst adversity.
Like this one here. 'Twere given me by me favorite aunt.
- And the other? - Ah, that one!
Me father gave that to me poor old mother, God rest her!
Thank you, gentlemen.
I think we have settled matters insofar as we are able.
Go take some rest and leave me to prepare for my own, which I warrant...
this time will be a lasting one... Long live the King!
- Long live Spain! - Long live the King!
Long live Spain!
- I have done all I could, Your Honor. - I know, my good Juanito, I know.
Alas, there are times when all is not enough. Farewell, Doctor.
My son, unburden your soul to Almighty God.
Confess your sins and repent of them is humility...
- that they may be forgiven you. - Ah, my sins... How they haunt me!
We both know, my son, how Satan con profit from a sailor's isolation...
inciting him to shameful solitary practices.
- I am an old man, Padre... - Very well, then. There remain greed...
anger, pride, mendacity, sloth...
Let us wrestle with them one by one.
For some time now, I have been plagued by certain weighty questions which...
hardly pertain to mendacity or sloth.
- What manner of questions? - Throughout my life I gave fought for...
my King, my country, and Holy Mother Church.
- And God shall reward you for it. - I have killed in their name.
- A soldier's duty. - Aye, but 'tis a sorry duty to kill...
men, women and childrenfor the sake of a nation's gold.
These are savages... cannibals, some of them!
- They don't even know the value of gold. - Value of gold! Kapatek-Anahuac!
Is it God? An eagle? The sun or the moon?
The throne carries a curse if it is removed from its rightful place.
The other night... I dreamed... it was red with blood...
If we were wisewe would hurl it overboard...
The Neptune might sit on it without fear or remorse...
but we poor mortals... And my ship? What will become of my men?
Why was I born a Spaniard and not an Aztec? Why, Padre...
are there never answers to the questions that truly matter?
Why?
Man that is born of woman hath but a short time to live and is full of misery.
He cometh up and is cut down like a flower. We beseech Thee, o Lord...
to receive into the depths of this ocean, upon which he sailed as...
a brave captain and a valiant soldier, thy faithful servant...
Don Jos� Maria Alonso Ordonez de Linares y Escobar...
Knight of the Order of the Holy Cross.
What a creature! Proud as a peacock and twice as 'andsome.
Ah oui, and those eyes...
they burn like coals of fire. And that skin...
smooth as peach, pardieu!
The Lieutenant, you dunderhead.
Guards, prepare to fire.
Fire!
Come and see this.
Come here and look at this.
Look, look at this.
We'll all die of the plague!
Get back in line, you dogs...
in line, I say!
Yeah.
Hold, hold! I'm not the cook, I'm his replacement!
I know nothing of this.
I drink to the new Master After God of His Majesty's good ship "Neptune".
Gentlemen, Don Alfonso Felipe Salamanca de la Torre.
Don Alfonso!
- Your Honor, mutiny a board. - A what?
The men found a rat in the soup. The wrecked is tearing 'em up.
Commander, turn up the guard.
We must fight for the betterment of our conditions. We must claim...
- our rights. - All your rights... no exceptions.
- We can beat them, if we stand together. - Right.
- Unity is strength! - Right.
- And the soldiers, what about them? - They are our brothers...
- We will talk to them. - They are sons of the people, like us.
Right.
The officers have bled us dry. Jesus said...
"'Tis easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle...
than for an officer toenter the kingdom of heaven."
The armory, lad... to the armory!
Must be somewhere close by here. Ah, Corporal, we've come to mend a leak.
- Leak? - Bosun's ordered is to help...
the carpenter. His mates is down with the squitters.
Must find this leak... 'Tis said to be close by the armory.
Ah there.
Vive la France!
The keys... see if he's got the keys!
- No keys, Cap'n. - Out o' the gunport with 'im!
Holy Poker, that would've been too good to be true!
Here, Froggie, give us a hand. I'm stuck.
Move a muscle and I'll blow your brains out.
Cut this quick! Look alive!
These too!
Ship's company! Your Captain will address you.
Now then, what seems to be amiss?
Come now, speak your minds!
There's naught to be afraid of... this is no galley ship.
Go on, go on, tell him...
Well?
Go on, tell him what happened.
They... they... they're feeding us rats.
- Rats? A rat. - We want to relieve ourselves in peace.
- We're sick of the whip... - We want our rights...
we want our rights.
Easy man, easy! Don't all speak at once!
We shall settle this matter amicably.
You...!
You...! You...! And you two over there...
the cripple and his crony. Over here, all five of you!
The rest of you, back to your posts! On the count of three...
I shall consider you mutineers and give the command to fire. One!
Two!
Three!
Gentlemen! It seems we have just been spared a mutiny occasioned by...
this little rodent, which fell into the soup.
And what, pray, does our learned physician make of this?
'Tis boiled?
My late grandfather partook of several during the siege of...
Cartagena, and never suffered any ill effects.
- You heard that? - Aye, sir, we did.
"Never suffered any ill effects".
That is uncommon good news, you'll allow?
- Aye, uncommon good, but... - But? Come...
would you represent our surgeon's grandfather to be a liar?
Nay, sir, I'd as soon slit me throat.
Then kindly be seated. You are our guests.
I trust you enjoy your meal, gentlemen.
Could it be that you donot fancy Spanish rats?
Why, but we do, sir, we thinks gold dust of 'em.
- Alas, we have but one. - I pray you, sir, one will be...
more than suffice... you are too kind.
Some seasoning for our gourmets.
I fear we have no vanilla...
Would you not prefer the head?
Nay, nay, lad, I wouldn't rob you of it.
To the last morsel, if you please.
For the love of heaven! Don Alfonso! You have demonstrated your dominion...
over these wretches. We have all understood.
Enough now! Stop this cruel jest, I implore you, stop it at once!
Your desire is our command.
Get it off.
One! Two!
- Three! - That's it, then.
The whip for him, the rope for us.
Six! Seven!
Eight!
Nine!
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst...
- women and blessed is the fruit of... - You might as well pray to a bowsprit.
Hey, hey! No blasphemy, lade... not at this hour o' the watch.
I do not want to die like a dog. I have a wife and babes.
- I am still young, young! - O Jesus, in Thy infinite mercy.
They haven't the spunk of a weevil. We must get ourselves out of this alone...
- just you Froggie, and myself. - I'm with you, Captain!
- You're a bullycock. - I'm with you too!
- And me, and me! What's to be done? - Number one, stop gabbin'. Number two,
- do as you're told. Where's the dagger? - In my satch, sir.
Take it, Boomako.
Twenty seven!
That's it, that's it. Cut our ropes, cook, but have a care...
just beside the knot, and mind you leave a strand or two.
Having made their peacewith Almighty God...
through the offices of Padre Don Antonio Fuentes, these four mutineers...
are sentenced to be hanged by the neck until they are dead.
May the Lord have mercy on their souls.
- Shipmates, you shall be avenged. - Shut up you. You want the rope as well.
Do you want it? Cause you can have it.
My son, unburden your soul to Almighty God.
At this supreme moment, you must confess your sins that they may be forgiven you.
Matter of fact, Padre, I'd be glad to 'ave the benefit of your theological...
advice, just in case of accidents. You never know.
Resign yourself, my son. In a few moments you will be meeting your Maker.
Well, meantimes...
I should tell you that I had a mind to eat the Frog...
and I'm a-feared bad luck may come of it.
God created animals to be eatenby man, so why not a frog?
- Come, my son, what else besides? - Beggin' your pardon, Reverend...
but that's the Frog, standing alongside. 'Twas 'im I had a notion to eat.
Now that is a serious matter.
Proceed!
Heave!
Fire!
Down with the officers!
For the love of Jesus, have pity on him...
No... Have pity.
Frog...
down to the armory, son! Hurry!
Take some of the lads with you!
Hold them back, hold the door. Put your weight behind it.
Take them on deck.
At your age... have you no shame?
- Hands off the prisoners! - Easy now, hombre. If there's enough...
- for one, there's enough for two. - Here's your shawl.
I beg you to pardon the hole, mam'selle.
Shipmates! Divine Providence has seen fit to deliver...
this here vessel from the tyranny of your de-generate Hidalgo masters.
I do hereby take possession of her in the name of brethren of the coast...
and shall henceforth command her.
I am Captain Thomas Bartholomew Red!
Mercy, have pity...
Long live Captain Red!